“I promise I write better than I speak!”

As I’ve mentioned, I’m a writer and I like to tell stories. I’m just not so good at the whole verbally telling stories thing. Actually, I’m not good at talking in general. I tend to include a lot of unnecessary “um’s” and repeat myself. I fumble my words and forget what I am trying to say halfway through saying it. Sometimes, I can’t think of anything to say in response to conversation which leads to an uncomfortable amount of silence before I ultimately reply with the generic responses: “hmmm, that’s interesting” or “oh, really?”. Thus, my inability to form eloquent sentences coupled with the fact that I am soft-spoken and my voice has the pitch of an eight-year-old child does not lead to effective communication on my part. I tend to keep silent a lot.

When I write I am free of these communication restrictions. There’s pressure on conversation that doesn’t exist with the written word. I feel like if I have something to say, I can say it best through my writing. This doesn’t bode well for the reality where verbal communication is a fundamental life skill. I feel like after the tenth graceless conversation with someone who knows I am a writer I have to say, “I promise, I write better than I speak!” I sometimes feel like my impaired oral communication skills reflect poorly on my cognitive development. Even though I can’t get my words out right, I do know how to use language effectively. So sometimes I live on the pages of my stories where ironically enough, dialogue is one of my strengths. I thrive on the words that I write down, their meaning clear and concise even if it took me three tries to get there. I feel like I have an actual voice when I write. And as the semester is coming to a close and pages upon pages of final papers are due, I am finally saying everything my teachers won’t hear. In writing my novel, I feel like I am trying to speak to the world, speak to my readers, or just put my words out there to make up for the twenty-four years that I’ve been quiet.

Verbal communication is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately–something I feel I need to improve on–especially with graduation fast approaching and the door to the real world almost within reach. Perhaps this post is partially a declaration to anyone who has ever heard me speak that I’m not as senseless as I sound. Perhaps this is in defense of anyone who struggles with articulating speech. Regardless, my words are out there and I’m being heard.


1 thought on ““I promise I write better than I speak!””

  1. […] Santa was scheduled to be there for four hours. It turns out that while sleighs do well in the snow, families with small children don’t. Some braved the weather to share their lists with the man in red but most weren’t that enthusiastic. So while the wait time between visits was long and painful, we had to make small talk with the Clauses. I’m not good at small talk (or talking in general). […]

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